| How to Pack a Waste Free Lunch Posted: Everything is re-usable! No trash! This is a very easy change you can make for the environment. By carrying your lunch this way, you also avoid trips to restaurants or the cafeteria and you can eat better. Try packing a lunch without any trash left. Steps - Use a re-useable lunch box, not a disposable bag. Choose something durable that you can use for a long time. Many good, insulated models exist.
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Ice packs keep your lunch extra fresh. - Pour your drink into a reusable thermos, water bottle, or leak-proof cup. Avoid items that are not recyclable, like boxed juices or bags.
- This goes for coffee, too. If you drink coffee, make it yourself at home and carry it in a thermos. Use a reusable cup or mug for the stuff. To cut down on even more waste, make yourself some reusable coffee filters and be sure to compost your coffee grounds.
- A thermos can also keep soup hot.
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Bandanas make great cloth napkins!
- When it gets dirty, put the new napkin or towel in when you take the old one out, so you don't end up at your destination without one.
- A tea towel can also serve as a place mat and/or to wrap your entire lunch if you do not have a lunch box. See How to Do Furoshiki (Wrap and Carry Things With Square Cloth).
- Use reusable containers for your food. There are plenty of choices besides plastic wrap and plastic bags.
- Wrap your sandwich in a "Wrap-n-mat" or similar item. This item is plastic on one side to keep your sandwich fresh, as cling wrap does, but it is cloth on the other side and doubles as place mat.
- Place your sandwich in a plastic container. A two- or three-cup flat, plastic box holds a sandwich, keeps it fresh, and prevents it from getting squished. It may take up a bit more space, so choose a lunch box with that in mind, if you can.
- Use durable, reusable containers to hold wet or messy items: pudding, yogurt, dips, salad dressings, etc.
- Use reusable fabric sandwich/snack bags to hold dry items: crackers, grapes, chips, sandwiches, etc.
- Consider Mason jars, the kind used for canning. Some spaghetti sauce also comes in these jars. Save the lids from spaghetti sauce and reuse them to carry things like soup (if you have a microwave where you're going) so they won't leak. Only use glass containers if the lunch box won't take abuse on a playground.
- Pack a real fork, spoon, and table knife, or a pocket knife for adults. Thrift stores and garage sales frequently have inexpensive, mismatched flatware (if you would rather have a separate one for your lunch box to avoid breaking up a set you use at home). You could reuse plastic ones instead, but metal is a lot sturdier and easier to work with.
- Get a couple of sets so you can immediately replace the fork, spoon, and knife any time you take dirty ones out.
- Pack leftovers, especially if you have access to a microwave. Using up leftovers that would otherwise go uneaten means less waste. If you like to take leftovers for lunch, get in the habit of preparing extra food whenever you cook at home.
- Avoid single-serve and heavily packaged items.
- Refill small containers from larger ones. You can carry applesauce, yogurt, trail mix, dried fruits and nuts, crackers, and all sorts of things this way, and you get to choose your own portions.
- Buy the ingredients for several lunches at once. You will generally use much less packaging buying larger quantities of ingredients than buying prepared meals. Use reusable grocery bags when you go.
- Cook for yourself and your family. If you are in the habit of taking a granola bar, candy bar, packaged muffin or can of soup, see if you can come up with home-cooked alternatives. Muffins, corn bread, and cookies are all easy to make at home.
- Choose fresh fruits and vegetables instead of canned or packaged. Most come in their own truly recyclable packaging, so don't forget to put any peels or cores back into one of the other containers in your lunchbox and take them home to compost.
- Pack no more or less than you need. You eat lunch every day, so you have many opportunities notice how much you usually need. If you pack too little, you may end up supplementing your lunch with a trip to the vending machine or cafeteria. If you pack too much and don't eat it, food will go to waste. Pack foods you or your family like. If you or they don't like it, it won't get eaten, and it will go to waste.
Video Tips - Look at any waste you do create each day. Is there a package or napkin left in your lunchbox at the end of the day? See if you can improve on matters.
- Bandannas make fantastic cloth napkins. They don't wrinkle much and absorb better than many cloth napkins that are made with polyester. Consider buying a large pack on-line and use them for meals at home, too.
- Wrap soft fruits like peaches and pears in whatever you're using as a napkin, or use a container to protect them from bruising or squishing.
- If you wind up with a banana peel or apple core to dispose, take it home and compost it or start a vermicomposting bin.
- Carry recyclable containers home if your school or office doesn't offer recycling. Better yet, use reusable containers.
Warnings - Never litter. If you do have trash left after lunch, put it its appropriate bin.
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| Today is the 15th birthday of Wiki! Learn the wiki way to reach a consensus Posted: Consensus is defined as "an opinion or position reached by a group as a whole" by the American Heritage Dictionary. But reaching that point is difficult and even understanding what a consensus is can be mind numbing. These instructions will guide you through the process of finding common ground and building a consensus. Steps - Understand what a consensus is. There are five requirements of consensus decision-making:
- Inclusion. As many community members as possible should be involved in the process. Nobody should be excluded or left out (unless they ask to be excluded).
- Participation. Not only is every person included, but each and every person is also expected to participate by contributing opinions and suggestions. While there are various roles that others may have, each person has an equal share (and stake) in the final decision.
- Co-operation. All the people involved collaborate and build upon each other's concerns and suggestions to come up with a decision or solution that will satisfy everyone in the group, rather than just the majority (while the minority is ignored).
- Egalitarianism. Nobody's input is weighed more or less than anyone else's. Each has equal opportunity to amend, veto, or block ideas.
- Solution-mindedness. An effective decision-making body works towards a common solution, despite differences. This can come in the form of compromise, a better idea, or even dropping the potential issue completely.
- Familiarize yourself with the arguments against using a consensus process. Many people feel and have been raised to feel that democratic voting (i.e. majority rules) is the proper solution to all decision making. This may create a win/lose situation that is less productive in the long run. Those who prefer voting often view the consensus model as inefficient and time-consuming. By understanding the resistance towards consensus building, you will be better able to address people's concerns.
- Emphasize the benefits of using a consensus process. While both the voting method of decision making and the consensus process of decision making are meant to promote discussion, the consensus process is more likely to result in all parties reaching common ground. Both sides of an issue may need to make concessions in order for the issue to move through the process. The end result, however, is a solution that everyone can be satisfied with. It may not be exactly what anyone wanted, but it gives everyone enough of what they want to be content and will ultimately improve group cohesion with a shared plan, vision or goal, rather than create factions or an "us against them" mentality.
- Clearly outline what needs to be decided. You may need to add something or take something away. You may need to start something new or amend something current. Whatever it is, make sure that the entire issue is clearly stated for everyone to understand. It's always a good idea to address why the issue is being raised in the first place (i.e. what is the problem that needs to be solved?). Briefly review the options that are available.
- Test the waters. Before attempting a lengthy discussion, have the decision-makers vote.
- If everyone agrees on a position, move on to taking action and implementing the decision.
- If there is disagreement, discuss with the decision-makers the reasoning behind their votes. The consensus method requires that a solution be reached, if possible, by finding a middle ground between all parties. So a discussion may reveal that you can modify some aspects of your proposal to promote a solution.
- Modify the proposal to address the concerns raised by objectors. This may include making some concessions of your own. Remember, if even one person disagrees with you, you are still obliged to discuss the issue further and not exclude the dissenter.
- Identify when consensus has been reached. This can come in several forms based on the decision-making body. There are four commonly-identified types of consensus (excluding 100% consensus, which is always preferred). The type to be used by your group should be decided well in advance of any contentious proposal being brought before it for consensus-building.
- One Dissenter (also called U-1, or Unanimity minus one) means that all participants support the decision except for one. The individual dissenter usually can't block the decision, but may be able to prolong debate (like the infamous filibuster). Due to their skepticism of the decision, the lone dissenter makes a very good evaluator of the outcome of the decision because they can view it with a critical eye and spot negative consequences before others would.
- Two Dissenters (U-2 or Unanimity minus two) also can't block a decision, but they are more effective at prolonging debate and obtaining a third dissenter (in which case a decision usually can be blocked) if they agree on what is wrong with the proposal.
- Three Dissenters (U-3 or Unanimity minus three), is recognized by most groups as enough to constitute non-consensus, but this can vary between decision-making bodies (especially if it is a small group).
- Rough Consensus doesn't specifically define "how much is enough". The working group leader or even the group itself must decide when a consensus has been reached (although this can create additional disagreement when consensus cannot be reached about coming to a consensus). This places increased responsibility on the leader and can stir further debate if the leader's judgment is questioned.
- Implement the decision as quickly as possible and follow the decision to the letter. If any alteration is made to the decision after consensus, it must be reintroduced to the decision-making body for voting and consensus-reaching.
Tips - Emphasize the role of the team in finding a solution to various issues together, not pitting stakeholders' interests against each other.
- Some decision-makers may want to "stand aside". This usually means the individual does NOT support the proposal being discussed, but will allow the decision to pass if necessary. Sometimes, however, a person chooses to stand aside simply because they don't feel that they are knowledgeable enough about the subject to participate constructively.
- For a decision that will require a lengthy amount of time and many people, establish roles for the discussion. Make sure these people are responsible members of the group. Also, ensure that participants understand that these individuals are considered responsible members of the group and the suggestions are to be taken respectfully and seriously. The role-playing individuals have equal votes among the decision-makers, their vote counts no more or no less than anyone else. Here are a few roles that might help:
- Facilitators make sure that the decision making process adheres to both the rules of consensus building (as described above) and a reasonable schedule. There can be more than one facilitator, and a facilitator can "resign" from their responsibility if they feel they're becoming too personally involved with the decision.
- Timekeepers keep their eye on the time. They let the facilitators and group know how much time is remaining and can help with steering the discussion back on track. A separate timekeeper is not always necessary, unless the facilitators are too busy moderating to keep checking the time.
- Empaths gauge the "emotional climate" of the discussion to make sure that it doesn't get out of hand. The goal is to anticipate emotional conflicts, prevent them or resolve them, and get rid of any kind of intimidation within the group.
- Note takers document decisions, discussions, and action points of the group so that leaders or facilitators or any member of the group can recall previously stated concerns or statements and keep track of their progress. This role is especially important in a long, varied and drawn-out discussion, where it's hard to remember who said what.
- Make sure that everyone understands what is meant by "consensus" (see Steps above) since everyone will want to know when consensus is reached.
- Be patient with people as they learn about the consensus climate. It is often much different for people (especially individuals from Europe and North America) from democratic lifestyles.
- Set aside some time for silence during the discussion. Participants will give more measured and well-reasoned opinions if they have time to think before they speak.
- Keep in mind that the goal is to reach a decision the group can accept, not necessarily a decision that fulfills every member's wishes.
Warnings - Watch out for belligerent decision makers who seek to make an argument personal or off-topic. Facilitators and empaths (if you use the roles mentioned in Tips) should be tasked with maintaining the positive atmosphere of consensus decision-making.
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| How to Decide Whether or Not to End a Friendship After a Fight Posted: Most people believe that every friendship will need to endure a problem at some point or another. But while some problems are forgivable and will even serve to strengthen the friendship when they're over, others are simply deal-breakers, and you have to sever the relationship, even if it's painful. How do you decide which is which? Steps - Assess the cause. Why did you fight? Was it your fault, or your friend's fault that the matter escalated this far? Was it necessary, or was the fight over-blown? Assessing the truth about why you fought is going to be key to deciding whether or not the friendship can or should be saved.
- Pinpoint the issue. What makes you think this is a deal-breaker? Did you fight over religion, politics? Those differences can make for heated debates - very interesting most times, if you have the stomach for them - but rarely should be cause for ending the friendship. Did you fight over a boy or girl? Again, boyfriends or girlfriends may come and go but your friend should outlast any of them, if your friendship is true. And there may be the crux of the matter - is your friendship true? Did you fight because your friend breached your trust, broke a promise, or committed a crime? These are serious problems, and must be carefully considered.
- Seek counsel. Ask a trusted relative or friend; someone who is not a mutual friend, who will not spread what you say around your circle of friends. Be as objective as possible when explaining the circumstances and ask for an unbiased opinion. Talking over your problem with a friend, a therapist, or a clergy member may really help you come to a good decision as to how best to handle the situation. But beware; if you tell someone you both know; this may spread like wildfire and then you may not be in the driver's seat about ending it any more. You and your friend have already had a fight bad enough for you to consider whether or not the friendship can survive. Don't complicate things by running your mouth to people you both know; talk to someone outside your circle.
- Weigh the benefits and detriments. If you decide to end this friendship; would your life be better in the end? How? Or would it be worse? Imagine your life without this person in it. Think about the fact that mutual friends would most likely divide between the two of you with some remaining loyal to you, and some remaining loyal to your former friend. How will that affect you?
- Consider whether either of you have had this sort of experience before. Have either you or your friend had this kind of blowout before? If your answer is yes; this fight may be part of a larger pattern for one of you. Look honestly at your own past - have you ever had a fight and then written a friend off afterward? If you have; try to break your old pattern by examining your own sensitivities. If you consult with other trusted friends or family members; they may verify or dismiss the notion that this may be a pattern with you. If your friend has told you of past such blowouts, think about that friend hard. Does she have many or any friends of long standing? People who have few long term friends may develop a pattern of discarding friendships after a certain amount of time, or more crucially after a certain level of intimacy or closeness develops. This is a defense, or guarding mechanism, and you may not be able to get past it.
- Be sure you make your decision for the right reasons. Being angry with someone is not, of itself reason enough to end a real friendship. Having your feelings hurt is not, of itself, reason enough either. These are the kinds of ups and downs that friendships like sibling relationships can endure if the two of you are willing to fight past your hurt and indignation if you can do this and come together, talk things out, and come to resolution, your friendship can sail through these rough waters and come out stronger than before, having been tested. But if your fight was over a serious fundamental value difference then your decision to end it may be the best for both of you. If; for example your argument was over whether or not to call the cops on your friend's cousin for breaking into the house of a neighbor of yours; you may have an insurmountable problem. If you want to call the police but your friend wants to protect her cousin then you have a basic value difference; to you wrong is wrong no matter who it is. To your friend blood is thicker than water and family loyalty trumps legal and moral considerations. This is a problem that you may not be able to solve with discussion. If this is the case you may have to part ways here.
- Decide once and for all. Know that if you decide to end this friendship there is probably no going back. If you end the friendship try not to end it on the bitterest possible note. Dig deep inside yourself and be as kind as possible when you inform your soon-to-be ex-friend of your decision. If you're ending this over your friend wanting to protect a family member from possible criminal prosecution; you may not be able to achieve this. Chances are you will go ahead and report the cousin (as you should) and your ex-friend will know it is you at the root of your cousin's impending incarceration. Once done it is possible your friend will be relieved and come to you saying s/he is glad it is over and bears you no ill will - this friendship can be saved. It's possible that your friend couldn't bring him or herself to report the cousin, but it's okay with your friend if you decided to be the "bad guy." But if it really is ready to be junked try to say your goodbyes as nicely as you can: "Well I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. Unfortunately I feel like this argument has been too hard on the relationship and I don't think I will be able to just let it go and resume our friendship. I think I need at minimum, a break. And honestly after the way this fight played out I feel I might never be able to go back. Let's say goodbye for now and if we end up meeting again maybe we can start fresh." When you close the door let that be the end of it.
- Don't badmouth that person. Take the high road no matter what. Don't say bad things about that person and don't listen to anything bad about him or her either. Just say; "We had our differences and I moved on. I don't want to discuss it or anything about him or her okay?" Saying bad things or encouraging bad gossip just keeps things churning. Let it end. Your real friends will be able to discern what is true about you and what is just angry ranting.
Warnings - Ending a friendship is a loss. It can feel like you've experienced a death. Give yourself time to get over it and forgive each other. If you are in a sticky situation then tell them very nicely that you can't be friends anymore, but if she/he asks why then explain what that person did.
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