by Sandra Ray 
Financial woes are near the top of the list of reasons why couples choose to divorce, outranked only by marital affairs and alcohol and/or substance abuse issues. Despite this, many couples still face tremendous obstacles when it involves discussing money with one another.
Perhaps one reason for this barrier is the fact that money is a tangible item and is limited, yet it has deep emotional connotations for most people. In short, money is more than a means to an end; for many, it brings emotional security, stability, and defines their sense of self-worth. Does one spouse make more than the other? Males are accustomed to making more than females, yet increasingly, this trend is reversing. Women are bringing higher incomes home and some males may feel threatened by it or even resent it. This dimension is but one example of why it is critical that couples address financial issues early and often.
The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia researches concepts related to marriage and financial issues in addition to other areas that impact relationships. One of the most recent publications focuses on the amount of debt one or more persons in the marriage carries in relationship to divorce. Even though there are many factors that may lead to a couple's decision to divorce, one thing is clear: couples with financial stress who are not communicating about these issues are headed for trouble.
Financial infidelity is a relatively new phrase that researchers use to describe how couples use money to betray one another during the course of the relationship. Much like sexual infidelity indicates a betrayal of basic sexual trust, couples who engage in financial infidelity are unable to trust or feel betrayed by the other person's use of the marital assets. In order to avoid the fallout of these trust issues, couples need to begin the conversation of how household assets should be saved or spent. It may mean the difference between a healthy relationship and a search for a divorce attorney.
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