| How to Encourage Your Friends to Contact You More Posted: Ever feel like you're the one carrying your friendships? You are the one who calls, writes, emails, IMs, texts --- whew! Your friends should take the initiative and make contact with you once in a while, huh? Here's how to handle that feeling that the burden of keeping contact with your friends is all on you. Steps - Understand that all friendships should be give-and-take relationships. Sometimes that means the give-and-take is unevenly distributed. It's just a fact of life, and if you want to continue relationships with friends who just don't have much to give at this time, you will need to accept it. Sometimes, it really is all on you - sometimes it's you giving 100% while they give 0%, while other times, it seems to be a more equitable balance of 50/50. That's life, and it's normal.
- Let them know you welcome all contact with them. Sometimes, friends shy away from calling - they don't want to "bug you," or they think they need a "reason" to call and catch up, or to reach out to you. By making sure your voice is welcoming, or that you respond as soon as possible to emails, etc., you will let them know they don't need any reason to make contact; they can call just to talk, and you'll be glad to hear from them.
- Use humor to lighten the situation when you mention it. Going up to your friend as if you are a jealous lover, yelling at him or her, acting all depressed because you feel left out, etc. will not make your friend leap to call more often. It will make him or her run like the wind - who needs the drama? Instead, affect some sort of goofy accent or use some other method of clearly joking - do not be pointed about it, insulting, petulant, etc. Above all, know when to quit - make a quick joke: "Oy, Brandon, you nevah call, you nevah write - what am I to think? That you don't love me, that's what!" And then chuckle, say, "I know you're so busy - but I love to hear from you, I miss you." And drop it. Don't keep it going, just let it go.
- Realize that you may be the "needier" friend at a time when your friend needs space. If this is the case, the most successful and best type of friend you can be is an understanding one. If you make repeated attempts to get your buddy to stay in touch, but s/he doesn't, it may be that life's pressures and demands are weighing heavier on your friend than on you. While you may have loads of time and disposable cash, your friend may be struggling financially, or under the load of classes, etc. Rather than burden you with his or her problems, your friend may simply withdraw for a little while, until circumstances ease. Be sensitive to this. It may be a time for you to probe a little ("I'm concerned about you - you've seemed to withdraw for a little bit. Is there a problem I could help with?") or to respect the unspoken request for distance. Just be open and friendly, letting your friend know that when s/he is ready to make contact, you will be there.
- Back off. Once you're clear that your friend is not going to reach out or confide in you, but simply seems less into your friendship than you are, back away for the time being. Let your friend struggle through whatever is going on in his or her life without harassment. Let your friend know that you are there and still care for him or her by sending an email every week or two, texting something innocuous, or just calling and leaving a message occasionally. A text like "R u busy? Call me?" is fine. But if s/he doesn't answer, let it go - don't follow up. Or leave a message like "Hey, Jonah, this is Robin. I'm just calling to say hi - we hadn't chatted in a while and I had a few minutes free. I was just hoping to catch up a little. If you get a chance later, give me a call - otherwise, hope everything's okay, and just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of ya. Chat with ya soon." These are non-predatory, non-threatening attempts at contact, and have a sincere message that you care attached. But the caution here is, once you've called and left one message, let that be enough.
- Accept reality. Sometimes, distancing himself from you is your friend's way of letting you know that right now, the friendship just is not a priority to him. If it's tremendously important to you that all friendships be maintained daily, weekly, monthly, etc., then this is not the friend for you. Many friendships naturally drift - that is to say that, sometimes, you are very close to this person, and other times, you have no contact. Many friends of very long-standing have had the experience of falling out of touch with one another for years at a time. Eventually, one friend tracks the other one down, reaches out, and BANG! It's as if no time had passed at all - they resume their friendship. Other times, friends simply grow away, develop other interests, and make other friends, and we lose touch with them permanently. The important thing to remember is that, once someone is important to you, it's rare that you would simply stop caring about him or her. But it is essential that you accept that all friendship is a two-way volunteer situation. If one no longer volunteers, there's very little the other can do about it. Let your friend go, and treasure what good memories of your friendship you have.
Tips - Dropping hints is best done gently.
- If you do drop hints that you'd like your friend to take the initiative more often, try to do it with a little humor and avoid making a big deal of it.
- Consider your need to have more contact, and ask yourself if the reason you need or want more contact than your friend seems to might be that you have feelings outside of friendship for this person. If that's the case, you will need to decide whether to approach your friend with your feelings.
Warnings - Staging angry or tearful scenes over how often your friend contacts you will only scare your friend away, and likely get you labeled as a stalker.
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| How to Make a Cardboard Rubber Band Gun Posted: Smaller rubber bands will shoot farther and faster. Tired of simply shooting rubber bands off your thumb? Want a new kind of fun? Well, the cardboard rubber band gun is your best bet! It can provide hours of entertainment inside (or outside, preferably) your own home and requires little more that 15 minutes' work. Steps - Gather the materials listed in the Things You'll Need section below.
The cut piece of cardboard. Use the permanent marker to make the dots. A close-up view of the folded cardboard. You may tape the gun however you want to, so as long as the two 12 inch ends remain connected. You can either use the metal fulcrum clothespin or a large paper clip (as seen here). You can either use the "old" clothespin or stick a pencil through the edge of the cardboard (as seen here). Smaller rubber bands will shoot farther and faster. You may want to place your finger under the cardboard when firing in order to provide support for the cardboard.
Tips - If you don't have any old-fashioned clothespins, you can always just stick a pencil into the cardboard. It works just as well.
- When firing, try to use as small a rubber band as possible in order to increase firing range and speed.
- You may want to experiment with other gun barrel types such as PVC, wood, or even metal, if you can get your hands on some.
Warnings - Do not point at someone else when the rubber band gun is loaded. If you fire the rubber band, or if it slips out of the clothespin, it will sting.
Things You'll Need - 1 old fashioned clothespin (the type without a metal fulcrum) OR a pencil
- 1 new clothespin (the type with a metal fulcrum) OR a large black paper clip
- Large sheet of very thick cardboard
- Normal-sized rubber bands
- Masking/duct/scotch tape
- Large Scissors
- Permanent marker
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| How to Make White Wine Posted: Making wine can be both fun and rewarding. In most areas, it is legal to make as long as you don't sell it. This is an extremely cheap method of wine making and can taste very good if done correctly. Steps - Sanitize all of your equipment. Sanitizing every piece of equipment that will come in contact with your wine is crucial to reduce any off-flavors and harmful bacteria.[1] There are many different sanitation methods, so you will just need to find which one makes the most sense for your case.
- Pour the white grape juice into the 5 litre bottle. Put the lid on and shake the bottle.
- Add the cup of sugar. Put the lid on and shake the bottle.
- Add the yeast and a small amount of sugar to a small amount of lukewarm water.
- When it starts foaming, add it straight to the bottle.
- Put on the lid and shake. (It is important to move straight on to the next step after completing this.)
- Remove the lid from the bottle.
- Put a few holes in the balloon with the pin.
- Stretch the balloon over the top of the bottle.
- Leave the fermentation bottle somewhere warm but out of direct sunlight.
- After 12 hours it will start fizzing. If it doesn't start fizzing, start again. This is the yeast at work. The gasses will be released through the holes in the balloon. When the balloon is no longer inflated (usually after about 2-3 weeks), move on to the next step.
- Once the primary fermentation has stopped (after 2-3 weeks) the alcohol content should be sufficient and can be bottled. You should now have 5-6 bottles of wine with an alcohol content of 11-12%! You can vary and experiment with the recipe!
Video Tips - This wine ferments best at a constant temperature of 17°C (62°F) for 3 weeks.
- If you want to improve the taste, leave it for a month before drinking it.
- If you really want it to taste good, transfer it from the container into another container, making sure to leave all of the gunk in the bottom of the previous container, and leave it for a month.
- For better taste, use wine yeast. The yeast used contributes a great deal to the flavor.
- Cleanliness is very important, everything that touches the juice/wine should be sanitized. Boiling water, or Campden Tablets (Sodium metabisulphite) or even, a bleach solution. The juice is a fine environment for microbes/yeasts. You want to make certain that your wine yeast is the one that's growing in there.
- If you find you like making wine, consider purchasing fermentation locks, also known as air locks. They allow the CO2 out, but don't allow air in. They're easier, more reliable, and a bit more expensive, than balloons.
- To get the wine out without disturbing the dregs too much, siphon it out. You can also Decant a Bottle of Wine off Sediment.
- If you use red grape juice and ferment it like this (at this temperature, same amount of time, etc.) it will become rosé. To make red wine you would use red grape juice and ferment it, with the same technique, at 30°C-35°C for ten days.
Warnings - Do not sell this! It's against the law in most places.
Things You'll Need - 5 litres of white grape juice
- A cup of sugar
- Baker's Yeast
- A 5 litre Bottle
- A Balloon
- A Pin
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